So what did I learn from all the different Sanders Posts

There was a lot there, but did they answer any of the outstanding questions.  Here is what i can say:

• The early part of the 1860s was rough on the family.  Benjamin Franklin Reed ran off, David Sanderson, Albert David Sanders and  Asahel Sanderson all died.  This left Amy Wheeler and Lucy S Sanders as widows, Sarah raising her children without their father, and Lucy Amy Reed Sanders an orphan.  If it wasn't for Albert David Sanders money, things could have been much worst.  Surprisingly, none of these events seems to be directly tied to the Civil War.  
• Albert David Sanders married Jane Tileston, Not Lilly Lawrence.  Lilly Lawrence was actually Lucy Amy Reed Sanders.  Daughter of Sarah Sanders and adopted daughter of Albert David Sanders.  Lucy was known as Lilly and married John Lawrence.
• Still don't know where Benjamin Franklin Reed went.  We know he started in New York, but I can't validate anything about him becoming a missionary to the Native American's in the south.  Also, there is no evidence of Albert David Reed Sanders retrieving him and him dying in the Northampton area and there is no sign of his grave.  I have also found no evidence of Benjamin Franklin Reed having other children.  
• Albert David Reed Sanders was not adopted by Albert David Sanders, though he did receive $1000 from his uncle.  He changed his name to honor his uncle, but this was when he was 17 or 18 and well after his uncle's death.